Day 10: What are my views on religion?
Honestly, my views have changed quite a bit in the last couple of years when it comes to religion.
It's funny because even though I didn't grow up in a household with a set religion, I was raised with Baptist beliefs. I say that because my father was raised Seventh Day Adventist and my mom was raised Baptist. Where I don't really recall my father teaching us about his religion, I do recall my mom teaching us about hers.
My mom took my siblings and I to church quite frequently throughout my childhood and sent us to Sunday school whenever she found one that she was comfortable sending us on our own to. In our household, we prayed before every meal and before bed every night. On her side of the family, my grandmother is extremely religious so I had more children's bibles than anyone I knew; she would also occasionally quiz me on the books of the bible (imagine the triumph I felt when I could finally recite them all to her). My favorite aunt sent us to vocational bible school during one of the summers when we visited her.
One thing my mom always did was allow us to believe in what we wanted to believe. She even stressed that to us as we got older. If we ever came home and said we wanted to be a different religion, we were required to know about it, in depth, first; we couldn't simply decide on being something that we didn't know anything about (but that was with everything in our lives). Raising us in a Baptist household, she never had any of us baptized because she wanted that to be a decision that we made for ourselves when/if we felt like that was something we wanted to do. My sister was baptized at 13 and my brother and I got baptized in our early twenties.
As adults, the same church that my brother, husband, and I got baptized at was one we all joined and attended it religiously; paying our tithes and offerings each time the plate was passed. We had joined any and every church club they had and went to every church activity the church held.
Needless to say, religion was rather a big deal for us; at least it felt like it to me anyway.
Looking back, I regret joining that church. That place was the devil's playground. No one in authority was for the congregants; well, there was one person and unfortunately, he suffered a stroke that rendered him disabled, completely. The board members were money hungry and self righteous; complete assholes would also be a great description. And I don't even want to get started on the congregation! That place should've gone up in flames with all the sins being actively committed in the church house by those people. Smh.
When my family left that church, I didn't step foot in a church for years because of my experience there. My sister eventually found a church she felt comfortable in and I went with her a few first Sundays in a row. I say first Sundays because I had decided that I needed communion and that was the only time it was given. Lovely place it was. Welcoming and friendly. But after awhile, I simply decided that I didn't want to go anymore. Things were going on in my life that made me question a lot of things, my faith included.
I wavered for years about my faith, religion, and God. It wasn't until recently that I figured out my stance on all of that and quite frankly, I like where I stand.
As far as faith goes, I have it. I have it in myself and surprisingly, I have it in mankind. I also have it in the universe.
When it comes to religion, I no longer believe in religions (my grandmother would probably drop over dead if she knew I felt this way) because those are so finicky. There are too many and for what reason? Each teaches something contradictory to the other and there are some that people are having religious wars behind. I feel as if religions are another way to divide people; give people something to judge someone by. Religions allow the opportunity to for their followers to be mentally, emotionally, and physically abused. Plus, I feel like they are man made and that in and of itself opens the door for some kind of manipulation somewhere (cue the Bible).
God on the other hand, I do believe in God. Well, I believe in a higher power. An omnipotent being. The universe. There are so many things that cannot be explained or fixed by science and I feel like that's because there is something larger at hand. Something more powerful. Think about the human body and the way it works. Think about natural disasters and why those cannot be stopped. Think about the world around you, truly think about it. Yes, science can explain away some of it, but it can't explain away all of it. So, no matter what path I take in my life, I will always believe in something larger than life that cannot be seen but is completely powerful; I just have to decide on what I will call that powerful being.
I also believe in positive and negative energy as well a bitch named, Karma.
Understand, I do not push my beliefs on my children because I feel that that is something they should be allowed to decide on their own. Looking back, my mother didn't push her beliefs on us either and I am forever grateful for that.
As far as what I am? I don't know, Spiritual maybe? Whatever I am allows me to be open and free as a thinker as well as understanding and accepting as an individual.
No comments:
Post a Comment