What If Dreams Were Hallucinations...

Would they still be considered dreams?

We grow up imagining a certain lifestyle for ourselves, a certain career, but what if what we dream doesn't really exist? What if our dream job isn't truly meant for us? What if... What if...

Lately, I find myself gravitating more and more to proofreading than to writing. Like, I simply LOVE to write, but it's seems like I've grown to love to proofread even more. I almost feel like I'm betraying myself because I have always wanted to be a die hard writer but now, I don't...

I find it kind of cool to get to be "behind the scenes" as a book is in the publishing phase. It's almost like you know a secret that the world isn't privy to yet. You were privileged enough to be the "chosen one" to carry out such a task as important as proofreading another writer's work. And even more so, you were trusted enough not to give away book details.

Being a proofreader can be pretty heavy stuff, but you know what? I'm completely ready for it. I've been proofreading for a close friend for years, now it's time that I take that leap and proofread for others as well. 

Bring it on...

Regrets and Accountability....

Don't necessarily mix to me...

For a long time, I've always felt that people should take accountability for their actions but in the last year, I've been stuck on it. My whole thing is that if you say something or even do something, it's because you wanted to do it. It's that simple. Right?

Now enter in Regret.

I've never fully understood how a person had regrets about saying or doing something they truly wanted to do. Granted, I've recently written a poem about having regrets about the path I've chosen, but as far as my actions to those around me, I regret nothing. Yes, I feel that if I could have done something in my life differently, I would've, but that's only when I begin to resent the path that I'm currently on. As far as my relationships with people go, I don't regret how they've turned out. Why? Because there are multiple variables involved when dealing with people; each person plays an intricate role in how the relationship dynamics unfold. However, when it comes to your personal choices/decisions, you are the only variable in the equation.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.

I don't feel that accountability and regrets necessarily mix because when you think about it, by regretting something you've said or even done to a person, you're kind of in a way, shrugging off any accountability that you might've had in the situation. I mean, granted, that pretty much goes with anything and in that aspect, it almost makes me a hypocrite of sorts. The whole point that I'm trying to make is that in all actuality by claiming you regret something, you in turn are not taking accountability for your actions. Maturity comes when you are willing to be held accountable for any role that you may have had in any dissolution of any relationships that you no longer have. Does that mean that you have to be proud of your role? No. What it means is that you did it and you take 100% responsibility for it. If the situation were to arise again, you might actually do the same thing over. In the event that you might choose a different path instead of the one that you previously traveled, does that mean that you regret your actions? No. It just means that you are wise enough to know that what you previously did, didn't work.

I don't remember where I was going with that. I had a great thought and just like that, I lost it...