Does it ever stand still..?
Thirteen months ago, time stopped for me...
It stopped in a way that time should never stop for an individual. It stopped in a way that is should never stop for someone who isn't mourning the loss of a loved one. It stopped in a way that it should never stop for someone who supposedly has all of their shit together. It stopped in a way that it should have never stopped for me.
I once wrote somewhere, "I died twice in that moment, yet my pulse still showed a beat."
I would lie to say that I wasn't broken as a result of all that transpired in that moment. A moment that I still can't bring myself to publicly discuss. I want to, Lord, knows how much I want to; but I can't. By doing so would then make this "nightmare" a reality. Would make my current reality even more real and my emotions are too raw for that. I would be forced to accept the obvious and by doing so, I would be snatched back to a reality that I never imagined myself having to live.
My life changed that day. My outlook changed. My heart changed. I changed...
I used to believe in "forever". I used to believe in "love". I used to believe...in something...
Gone is the person that believed in the impossible. Gone is the person that believed in herself...
