Dreams Taste Like Rainbows

Dreams taste like rainbows and rainbows taste like heaven... Totally random, I know... But I've been feeling that way lately...

On Tuesday morning, I published my SECOND POETRY BOOK..! AHHH!!! I am sooo excited about it, but with that excitement comes that nervousness that I get when the thought of someone reading my private thoughts and personal feelings comes to mind... I don't know how the book will be received and I would be lying if I said that I didn't care, because I do... I want people to understand me, relate to me, grow from me... I don't want them thinking that I was crazy or even full of it... Hehe, yeah...

It's pretty awesome though that this book had more guest authors than the first one... In the first one, I had 4 but in this one I had 12..! Their poems took my book from 80 pages to 134 pages, so I thought that that was pretty cool..! I am blessed to know each one of them personally and honored that they allowed me to showcase their work (For some AGAIN)..! Each one of them are truly talented writers..!

Since publishing the book, "A Deeper Me" by the way, I've felt a void in my soul... But that could be because the very thing I looonged to do for the last 5 years, is complete... It's a good thing I suppose; allows more room and time for something else to be done... I just don't know... Like I'm happy but I feel sort of blank about it... I want to say the reality has set in that I am a published author of multiple projects, but it's as if I haven't really grasped it yet... Definitely hadn't accepted the fact that I was a published author when I had ONE book, so how will I accept it now that I have THREE.?!

I thank God for everything though... He was my source strength... He gave me the ability to articulate my thoughts into words... Allowed my words to form the sentences that were the verses to my poems... Without God, I don't know if I would've been able to be the writer that I have become today...

Chocolate With That Snafu

The first week of March practically brought tears to my eyes. I accidentally busted my laptop screen and ALL of my updated poems were on it! Normally, I back up my work, but I didn't this time. Mainly because I was procrastinating. I guess that's what I get really, for being careless when I should've been being careful. So the book had to take a backseat until there was further notice.

In comes the further notice! I lucked out, more or less was blessed, that I had uploaded ALL of my files online to a website that I was going through for my second book! Again, I was practically brought to tears; tears of happiness of course! So I've been steadily working on my second book ever since. No it might not have the release date that I originally wanted, but there will be a release all the same. I'm hoping sometime in the fall or winter, but I might luck out and have it ready by the summer! Who knows. I do know, that I'm definitely praying about it.

Also, I recently published my FIRST Children's Book and A calendar! Because I couldn't fit my quotes onto my calendar AND have the format that I wanted, I decided to allow the pictures to be the inspiration. I also, just finished proofreading a friend's FIRST official book and it was REALLY GOOD..! I would definitely read "Red Sun" again..! Then next week, I am going to be a guest speaker at a banquet because of my first book. Kinda of like a motivational speaker of sorts and even thought I am extremely nervous, I am even more excited..!

Anyway, to keep it simple, I am truly blessed....

Eeek..!

I'm totally screaming on the inside right now... Well not exactly right now or ever for that matter, but I have been wanting to lately... The summer seems to be fastly approaching, which is when I want to release my second book... With constant work, I can have that goal met... However, I'm freaking out a little on the inside because I am soo excited..! Nervous of course, because well, they are more of my private thoughts... Thoughts that I probably should keep private... Excited because I can't wait for people to read how much I've grown as a writer..!

As it stands right now, I have so many thoughts going through my head lately that if I started to write, I'm sure I would have plenty of poems... But I don't want to... More or less, not ready to anyway... One day I will be ready... I just don't know if those thoughts will make it to this book...

New Year, New Goals

As time flies by, so do my thoughts... I can't believe that 2011 is only next week..! I've been working on book number two for so long... Maybe it's taking as long as it has because I haven't been writing as if I were writing for a book, I've been writing as if I were writing my thoughts down in my journal... No hurry... At all... However, I can't wait until number two is published and everyone can see how much I've grown since I had my first collection published...

I set a date for Jan 1st and that's when any and all invited poets are to submit their poems to my book to be featured in the "Unknown Writers" section, but so far only 4 out of like 15 have gotten back to me... We will see, they still have until the first which is when I want all loose ends tied up... After all, my goal is to have my book out my the summertime...

I've been extremely tense and irritated for no apparent reason lately and it's been irking my nerves... Who allows unknowns to upset them..? Well I've decided that instead of allowing it to irk me, I'm going to utilize these feelings to the fullest extent of my writing ability... And with that said, there's no telling where it will take me...

Complete Exposure

Tonight I plan on going to a poetry reading and reading... As always, however, I'm nervous... Why..? I don't know... I think it's mainly because people won't be reading my thoughts, I will be reading my thoughts to them... It's kind of unnerving in a sense... Probably because I always feel totally exposed and the very emotion that I used to write the poems, meshes itself within my voice and pours out with every word that I read... Complete Exposure... If I were to be able to read behind a mask or name that isn't mine, I might fare better... But then, that would mean that I would lose all credit as to who I am and my talent as a writer... Fear is not an option when it comes to my reading and it shouldn't be an option when it comes to my reading... So I guess this means that I will be doing as I usually do... Taking a couple of deep breaths, saying a little prayer, and steping into the spotlight...

Patiently Waiting...

It's been a minute since I've written in here, but I've been steadily writing all the same... Poems, short stories, and even a couple of songs (well the hooks to them anyway)... Writing is my therapy... I write during the high moments and I write during the low moments... It used to be that I wrote more during the low moments, but I started writing just as much during the high ones as well...

Anyway, I have this feeling in my gut that my writing is going to take me places that I never imagined I would go... Expose me to things and people that I've only dreamed of... And as afraid as I used to be of that feeling, I have gotten to the point that I embrace it... God has something magnificent planned for my writing and I... I just know it... Otherwise, why would he bless me with such a talent..?

I want to be remembered when I'm gone... But not for anything except my writing... I want my writing to touch lives... I want it to capture people's hearts... I want it to speak truths... I want it to bridge gaps... I want it to say the words that other's might not or won't say... I want it to mean as much to others as it does to me... Do I write for my audience..? No... I write for me... I write as if I were going to be the only one to read my words... The fact that I have an audience just makes my writing that much more important to me...

So for now, I patiently await for that time to come in my life... But will I stop writing before then..? Nope... I will never stop writing... As long as God blesses me with breath and thoughts and a means for me to "write", I will always write...

A Different Approach

So lately, by complete accident, I've taken a different approach to my writing. I mean I have always written about an emotion that I was experiencing or a situation that I was going through, but it's different now. Now, I write AS it's happening... Like right IN the moment... I feed off of my surroundings and use the emotions that I have at THAT very moment, to write. It helps because I am taking full advantage of my blackberry. I have begun to utilize the notepad feature to the fullest and now I use the internet for more than just facebook. I use it to pull up rhymezone.com because let's face it, it's hard to grab words that rhyme out of the air sometimes. So I'm excited because I feel that the poetry I've been writing as of late, is going to show how much I've been maturing as a writer.