Fear Comes In Many Forms...

For awhile mine was hidden in silence...

I don't even know where to start right now. So, maybe I will just dive right on in.

I wanted to write this post a long time ago, but I felt that it was pointless because I would be writing this during a time that everyone is feeling some kind of emotion with what is currently going on. For those of you that read this years from now, this was a year that mankind was in trouble. This was a year that many of us never thought we would ever get a chance to live through. This was a year of a pandemic. 

Covid-19 also known as "The Corona Virus" is a virus that is effecting people by the thousands and taking them out by the hundreds, but that is not why I am writing this.

I am writing this because today, President Trump extended our quarantine (which went into effect last Monday) until April 30th. As if it wasn't hard enough for me to maintain my mental composure when the original quarantine went into effect (with my birthday being April 1st and all), today, I damn near lost it. If you have read my previous posts, you will know that I don't adapt to change very well. Well, this is a kind of change that feels like it is more than I can handle. Temporarily laid off of my job, can't really leave my house unless I need "essentials", things of that nature that occurred all in a matter of days are huge changes to have to adapt to so quickly. 

From the moment the news started sharing what was happening in China (a couple months ago), I knew this was something to be taken seriously. On the outside, I downplayed it as best as I could, but on the inside, I was always seconds away from unraveling. So much so, that I eventually had to force myself to put it out of my mind. One thing that I have learned about myself is that I cannot allow myself to stress out at all; my health does not allow me to stress, even a little bit.

Anyway, I completely understand why the quarantine is in place and I think that's what scares me the most. This isn't something that can be controlled. This isn't something with a predictable pattern that can be figured out. This is something that is a monster of its own.

We are currently fighting in a battle that we have no defenses for; who knows what will happen when it gets to the war...