One Must Learn To Accept...

That time waits for no one...

(Sigh)

I will be 30 in less than two weeks and I feel more scrambled and unsure about everything in my life than I have ever felt before. I know what this is a direct result of and I keep telling myself that I'm over thinking it, but we all know that we are our own worst enemy.

I have set my standards so high lately that even I can't attain them! That, is ultimately, what my current mental downfall is. I feel like I should be so much further in EVERYTHING in my life right now, but I'm not. In some aspects I feel like I've back tracked, in others, I feel like I'm just sitting stagnant. More so than usual, I find myself reminding myself that I must be patient. That I must continue making the moves that I can yet all the while exhibiting a strong amount of patience.

Ha, patience! I never really was one to have too much of that...

My faith has taught me so much about my timing and God's timing and yet sometimes I find myself completely stuck on my timing. The best lessons are the most humbling ones and I don't know if I have it in me to be knocked out humbled again. I mean, if God sees to it, it will happen but for now I am trying to strengthen myself enough and discipline myself enough to where God wouldn't have to go out of his way to give me any friendly reminders; therefore, I have to keep in mind that there isn't really a such thing as "my timing" at all. 

I don't know. With age comes wisdom and with life comes lessons, so I guess I just have to remember that I'm not getting "older", I'm getting "wiser". Sounds good for now anyway...