Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Bad Habits Often Don't Die...

Very easily. Especially, any that I've ever had...

So, I am currently working on a series of books that are geared towards young children, particularly ages 2 to 5. I have been diligently working on this project for, hmm, maybe the last two months there about and I hope to begin releasing them early next year. The entire time I have been working on them, I have been thoroughly excited about them.

Until now.

I don't know what it is or why, but with this excitement, suddenly there's fear.

The few people that I have shared the project with have been giving me nothing but positive feedback. I have been told that my excitement and enthusiasm about this project is contagious. That this project is going to be HUGE for me, especially as a writer. Good stuff, huh? I thought so too, but it's those dang on flutters that I get in my tummy when I think about it that suddenly has me wanting to freak out!

It used to be that the flutters were a sign to me. A sign that this is going to be something major. It was a feeling that I've never really felt before about anything I've worked on. I mean like, yeah I would get excited about each publication, but this is a different excitement. This is a full on shudder excitement. The kind that leaves you light headed afterwards. That kind that leaves you speechless. Eyes glistening with wonder at just the thought kind of excitement. And I think because the excitement is so intense, it's beginning to take on the opposite affect.

Even though I know what's going on and why it's happening, it's still a battle to overcome. Anytime something major is on the cusp of happening in my life, I suddenly back away from it, never seeing its complete success. For some reason, I suddenly become extremely overwhelmed. I know how foolish that sounds and as embarrassed as I am to admit it, it's true. But I can't let that happen any longer. The difference between now and then, though, is that I'm not going to allow my fear of success run me away from seeing this project through. Run me away from seeing the entirety of my dreams become reality.

I want this and dammit, I'm going to get it!

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