Second Chances Aren't Given To All...

So do right by them if you happen to be chosen...

In this life, I'm sure many of us have wished that we possessed a "do over" button. Those of us have also stated that if we were ever given a second chance, we would do "whatever it was" differently. Not all of us are given a second chance, but there are a lucky few that are. 

Due to recent personal events, my sister and I have been stressing the lesson of second chances to our children. What a second chance means. What a second chance stands for. And what actions you are supposed to take if ever given one.

I feel as if a second chance is like another opportunity to right what you may have wronged in your life. It's like God (or the universe to others) is giving you a second chance at taking the correct path without having to worry about any of the hurdles that you had to jump over on your previous path. Like, even though you might have deliberately ignored all of the signs that you were given previously to halt the outcome of something going "wrong" in your life, you are still given the opportunity to fix it and start anew. In a sense, it's as if you get to become a new person while still being able to be the same person. A new way of thinking. A new perspective on life. Maybe even a new life. I mean, who wouldn't want an opportunity to experience that, right?

I cannot stress enough how blessed a person is to be able to receive a second chance of any sort in this lifetime. I know the times that I were given a second chance to do something differently, I did not squander the opportunity. Life is all about choices and hopefully, if our first choice isn't the best choice, then we are given the chance to choose again...

Not Everyone Worth Looking Up To...

Is located on the other side of a television set...

I just want to take a moment and say that I am so very proud of the many people that I went to school with that are steadily going after their dreams. Whether we were close friends, friends, acquaintances, or simply two people who passed one another in the hall on occasion, you have found a way to have a positive effect on my life.

You all are showing me that no matter the circumstances, the obstacles, or the amount of times you fail, a dream is always worth chasing. Time means nothing. Our ages mean even less. You are proving that it doesn't matter how old we become, as long as their is blood flowing through our veins and our bodies are able, IT CAN BE DONE!

There are times when some of us just need that reminder. When it seems like our dreams are moving further and further away instead of coming closer. When we need that little bit of inspiration to give us that extra push. I just want to let you know that it is in the those moments that I appreciate you all the most, because you all have inspired me in ways that you will never know or even begin to imagine.

I once said that I wished to inspire others one day the way that I have been inspired, but I was told by some of those that have inspired me, that I have inspired them as well. Wow... Who knew...

"Why be a dream chaser when you can be a dream catcher." - La Kata E.K.

We All Have A Ball And Chain...

That weighs us down tremendously. And sadly, that ball and chain is ourselves...

Saturday, during a M.A.D.D. meeting, one of the Women's Youth Directors shared her very personal story with the young women that were in attendance. I honestly don't think she realizes how much her story hit home for me.

First off, M.A.D.D stands for Making A Direct Difference. It is a nonprofit organization that empowers the development of youth in the community through self-expression. I have currently become a Women's Youth Director as well. So now that that is cleared up, let me continue on with that I was saying.

One of the things that was mentioned was that aside from not letting anyone bring us down, we have to remember to not allow ourselves to bring us down as well. No matter what it takes to get to our goal in life, the fact that we get there is all that matters. Some of us go straight for what it that we want out of life, while others, myself included, take the "long route." That "long route" is our minds allowing doubt and fear to get in the way of what it is that we want.

Growing up, I always wanted to write. Whether it was poems, short stories, novels, or songs; I just wanted to write. Now, that's exactly what I do. That's what I mainly do, but it wasn't always like that for me. I didn't solely focus on writing because I allowed my fear of the unknown, of negative feedback, to keep me from fully pursuing a career in a field in which I love.

Writing is a part of me, but reading is my passion.

For the last five years, I have been a proofreader. I was only a proofreader to one until late last year sometime and even then, I was scared. Like, seriously. I had previously doubted my ability to do my job well, even though, the person that I had proofread for hardly ever received reviews for proofreading errors. For some reason, I was just scared that I would fail. But that's another thing that the Women's Youth Director said; she said that "Yes, I have failed, but I did not quit." That, is what makes all of the difference. Though, I haven't failed, I have not quit either. Instead, I allowed myself to pick up more clients this year and I did so with pride. Humble, but proud. I know I am not the best proofreader out there, but I am good at what I do. To say that I am great would mean that I was completely perfect at it and I know full well that I am not at that point yet, but that doesn't mean that I am not trying to get there.

Basically, I'm tired of holding myself down and it's been a long time coming that I shook that ball and chain...

There's Something About The Universe...

That keeps me tilting on my axis...

Any time I feel like I know exactly how my life is going to go, something comes and knocks me off balance. Luckily for me, it's been nothing but positive experiences lately. It helps to have positive moments being practically thrown in your direction because it helps to keep you on your toes. At least in my opinion anyway.

One thing that I find myself doing a lot of in the recent weeks is writing. I haven't written this much in so long and it feels pretty good to do so. I've been writing short poems, long poems, and I've even been able to work on my novel. Yes, that novel. Like, as of right now, I am currently on page 85 and counting! That, my dear readers, is a very big deal for me! Who knows, maybe I'll keep on writing to actually publish it one day soon. Yup, that would be rather amazing if that were to happen...

Today, I decided to take a social media hiatus because honestly, I'm not channeling my extra energy into the things that I need to. Instead, I find myself zombie scrolling through Facebook blankly reading about other people's lives when in reality, I need to be reading about my own. Well, at least doing enough in my own life that would cause it to be worth reading to someone else one day. I don't know, but the hiatus is certainly needed and Facebook isn't the only site that I'm taking a break from. If it isn't about writing, proofreading, or beta reader then I'm not really going to be posting or interactive. Pinterest, however, is my addiction and that's going to be a hard habit to kick...

But back to what I was initially saying, positive moments are always a plus. They help to create great memories and in some cases, great connections. Right now, I'm finding that both are happening in my life. I am thankful for all positive occurrences in my life because it's those occurrences that allow me to smile, genuinely smile. Those occurrences remind me that the energy that I am putting out in the world really is positive energy and that I am on the right path as a person.

Hey, we all as people need a reminder every now and again that we are on the right path in life and I'm pretty blessed to recognize and receive mine.

What Good Is Blaming A Movement...

When we all need to blame ourselves...

*If you are highly sensitive to the following subject matter, then I suggest you read no further.*

I am a black woman, married to a black man, and we have two black children. We have black parents, black grandparents, black cousins, and black aunts and uncles. Do Black lives matter? Of course they do, but so do White lives, Hispanic lives, Asian lives, European lives, and so on and so forth. The point that I am making if you haven't figured it out by now, is that ALL LIVES MATTER! 

I am not going to lie, in the recent years, I have become extremely concerned for the well being of my husband and my brother. Fearful for the life that my son may grow up to have because of how black men in general are portrayed in the media, however, that is not my only fear. There are so many wrong doings going on in the world, that it is senseless to just focus on that one only. As a woman, who is the mother of a daughter, rape and human trafficking are something else that plagues my subconscious thoughts. What I am saying is that while we all focus on the injustices of race relations, there are other things going on around us that need just as much attention, if not more.

Because I am aware of how the media perpetuates the relationships between that of the black male and the police, I make certain to not fall into the state of mind that causes me to raise my children in fear of calling 911. Never should a moment arise that my children see a police officer and their blood run cold. Children have enough to deal with already. For some, the boogey man is very real; he doesn't wear the badge that promises to serve and protect, he wears the title as father, uncle, cousin, friend. He is the abuser, the sexual predator, the real monster under one's bed. He is the one that no one would expect to do an act of any violence at all...

Do not think that for one moment that I feel as if racism does not exist, because it does! A Lot! I have been the victim of plenty of racial attacks, none have ever become physical but I feel that the verbal is still just as bad; especially, when you are a child. The color of my skin is never going to change and neither will the opinions of ignorant minded people.

As a woman who grew up in the suburbs my entire childhood and has lived my entire adult life in the inner city, there are things that I have seen that I much rather wish I hadn't. That is neither here nor there. But what I have seen is that black people DON'T RESPECT black people no matter where you live. I feel that if black lives truly matter, then the black community needs to practice what they preach. You cannot expect someone to treat a person, pet, or thing any better than you treat them when all they have seen you do is treat them like shit. Pardon my language, but I feel as if that word fit perfectly. Have you ever noticed that if you run your siblings down to your friends, your friends feel as if it is okay for them to do the same? What about as a parent with children? If you do not treat your child with love and care, then those around you won't either. Owner of a pet even? Mistreat your animal and watch how quickly others mistreat it as well. The point I am making is that if you act like black lives don't matter, then the rest of the world will too.

Black on Black crime is very real, as is other race on race crime but those are not the races that are the focus of the nation right now; those are not the races that have been oppressed for as long as black lives have. Understand that I am not minimizing any other race and their issues because I do understand that the issue of immigration is very real as well, but as a black woman, with a black husband, raising black children, I felt that I was long overdue to share my opinion about black lives.

Before any of us can go around pointing fingers at those that are doing us an injustice, it is best that we make damn sure that we are doing all that we can and then some to make sure they don't have an example to lead by...

When The Words Are There...

But you cannot seem to grasp them.

Right now, what I want to say is on the tip of my tongue but it is the issue of how I want to say it that I am having a problem with.

I wonder if there are people in the world that ever wonder the kind of impact they have on someone. The kind of effect that they have on a person. The kind of impression that they leave on a person. I wonder if there are people who actually stop to think before they ever open their mouths. I wonder if they wonder like I wonder...

I am not the perfect person, in fact, I am completely far from perfect. I try to live by what I "preach". I am not the kind of person to mistreat someone or use them because I know that I do not like to be treated that way. I try to be honest with people and before I allow a lie to leave my lips, I will shut my mouth. If I do not like someone, before I go out of my way to be nasty to them, I will just simply stop dealing with them. I make it a habit to keep my fangs sheathed when I am dealing with someone that offers me help of any kind, because you don't bite the hand that feeds you and no matter how together I may ever get it, I make sure that I am never that full of myself to mistreat those that were there when everything was scattered for me. I am not the kind of person to burn bridges, but the kind that will blow them up when I see that what is on the other side is not good for me.

This is who I am, now who are you?

There are people in our lives that are not good for us. They are not healthy for us either. If a person spends more time tearing you down than building you up, then that is a person with whom the ties need to be severed. Unfortunately, it's not always that easy. So if you cannot severe ties, then try adding slack to them. I once thought that distancing myself from those kind of people would suffice, but I have since learned that what I considered adding distance, is not in fact distance at all. I find that I am still sacrificing my mental well being dealing with those kind of people and I shouldn't allow myself to sacrifice any part of me for anyone.

Sadly, I am reminded quite often the reasons that I have become as withdrawn as I am. Not a moment goes by that there isn't something in the air that settles quietly and without notice. I enjoy peace. I enjoy serenity. I enjoy calm. Quite frankly, if any of those are continuously disturbed, then I am going take the necessary measures needed to protect my mental well being and I honestly, I will learn to enjoy that too...

Guns Don't Kill People...

People kill people...

I'd like to take a moment and veer off of my "usual" banter to acknowledge something that has weighed heavy on me for quite a few days now. If you are not one that enjoys raw opinion, then now would be the time for you to halt your reading and to go on your merry way.

Late Monday night/early Tuesday morning, someone I knew was murdered by a stray bullet. The details of the situation are neither here nor there but the point is, bullets don't have names on them. There are multiple people around the world that have taken a stray bullet. Have I done my statistics? No. I don't need to, but even one person taking a bullet not meant for them is one person too many.

Understand, this post is not only about gun violence, it's about violence in general. Growing up, most of us are taught to defend ourselves if we ever feel that we are threatened; to not be the first to throw the lick but better make sure we are the last and to strike first ONLY if a person that is out to do us harm is within arms reach. To fight a fair fight, one on one without any weapons and if you have to jump in, make sure that it is done as fairly as possible as well. It seems to me, however, those teachings are no longer the case. No one fights fairly anymore. Weapons are drawn with a quickness and there are people out there all too eager to jump someone. The saddest part about it all is where there is a violent act about to occur, chances are there is someone lurking (or maybe even bold enough to stand out in the open) with a phone camera poised to record every single minute of the action.

These fight videos can be found all over the internet; you really don't have to look very far to find them. I am the kind of person that refuses to watch those homemade fight videos of any kind. I do not find it cute or even entertaining to watch people of all ages, sexes, nationalities, etc. fighting over something that was probably trivial anyway. I find it very disturbing that there are people who choose recording such foolishness over stopping it. I don't know nor do I get it, but it does bother me.

Let me take a moment to address some of the recent violent events that have been going on throughout my country. I have an opinion about each individual media whored situation, however, that's not what I want to discuss. What I want to discuss is what everyone is doing as far as their part is concerned.

Though adults will be adults and you can't always teach an old dog new tricks, are those of us who love all doing the best that we can to teach our children that? Are we as individuals teaching our children to love unconditionally no matter a person's size, shape, sex, race, religion, or even social background? Hatred of any kind is a learned behavior and it is our responsibility to not allow that kind emotion to fester into our children. Also, are we providing the proper outlet for those children who may need someone to talk to or even a way to let off steam? It seems to me that angry children grow up to be angry adults. It used to be that it was said that it took a village to raise a child, but now a days it seems if as all of the villagers have left and the child is out there fending for itself. Children cannot raise themselves, if they could then they would be born already self-sufficient. We have an obligation to the safety of our children, ourselves, and to others to ensure that tomorrow be a bit better than today is and a lot better than yesterday was. If no one can do their part to ensure a better today, then it's best that no one complain about how terrible tomorrow becomes....