How Can One Properly Market...

When social media feels so daunting?

There used to be a time when I would happily log in to whatever social media account I had for my author side and interact with everyone. From fellow authors and writers to admiring fans and future readers; I would spend countless hours online socializing with them all. Most days, I could not wait to wake up and post what it was that I was working on, comment on what another was working on, or even ask the many questions that I always found myself thinking about as I fell asleep the night before. The more active I was, the more people engaged with my posts. 

There used to be a time... 

I cannot explain what changed from that time up to now, but I do know that I am not as active online as I once was. Hell, I am hardly active at all. 

I know that my lack of online presence is possibly hurting my chances of successfully getting my work out there since that is a huge form of marketing these days; however, that is just a risk I often find myself comfortable with taking. I think it is because it sometimes feels like a chore to be active vices just something to pass the time. It does not help that a lot of the algorithms require some kind of "cheat code" or "money dump" in order for your posts to be seen. 

It is no secret, to anyone, that the minute something you enjoy goes from being fun to being a chore, you find yourself no longer able to enjoy it. Clearly, I feel that that is the case with me. 

Understand, it is not that I am not familiar with Social Media Marketing. In fact, it is something I am rather skilled at. Over the years, I have taught myself the ins and outs of what works and what doesn't; read articles, downloaded books, paid attentions to trends, etc. With that knowledge, I know that my being active online plays a key role in getting future readers interested in my work, I just do not like the fact that there is so much more to it now than it was a few years ago.

Hmmm... 

Now that I think about it, I find it rather interesting that I, an extreme introvert, was ever that active on social media to begin with...

Grief Is Such An Interesting Emotion...

Especially when you are grieving someone that is very much alive...

It does not matter the individual that you are no longer in contact with, the memories are what always remain. Forever. And ever. Until they finally fade away; if they even fade away at all...

A few years ago, I walked away from someone who played a major role in my life. For over two decades, this person was in my life. A part of my life. Was my life. This person is still someone that crosses my mind every now and again; however, when they do, I often find myself angry at the weighted sadness that I feel in my chest over their absence. I say this mainly because their departure from my life involved some form of disrespect. 

Remember those boundaries I mentioned awhile back? Well, they crossed plenty of them.

Anyway...

Recently, it seemed as if memories of this person crossed my mind more than they have in quite some time. Like, fairly often compared to the "not at all" that was the last couple of years. As a result, I found that I was having trouble rationalizing my feelings of both sadness and anger at having these memories, so I saw my therapist about it (yes, I see a therapist and I strongly recommend it). During our last session, she told me that, "even though you no longer talk to someone, you will still go through a grieving process of losing them. Especially if it was someone that meant a lot to you." 

Hmmm...

There was plenty more said within that hour long session, but that specific bit right there is what hit me the hardest. In all honesty, I cannot say that I was pleased to hear that either. I was probably more annoyed than I should have been because why is my mind allowing to me think about anyone who I had to abruptly cut out of my life? Why do my eyes water at the sight of their pictures? Why does my chest ache at the memories? 

"Because you have to grieve what no longer is. It may take some time, but just like with death, you are going to grieve. The feeling of grief comes because of the death of something and this is no different..."

I hate it here....