When it has had enough...
That is how I feel right now.
Like in this very moment.
I feel like I have had enough and I want to scream, only I am not going to scream, I am going withdraw completely. I am going to immerse myself so deeply within my writing, my proofreading, my beading, and getting physically fit that I will not know when the sun rises and when it sets. I will not notice when the seasons officially change, nor will I notice that I have not come up for a breath in so long, that when I do, my lungs will burn from the large amount of fresh air that I will finally have to inhale.
I want to say that it is my shoulders that feel weighted, but they are not. My head... My head is what feels so weighted lately. So damn heavy...
They say that the truth shall set you free, but what they forget to mention is that the truth is so painful. So utterly painful... And no matter how prepared you are to face it, you will never be the same afterward. Do you know that the sugary glaze that we see certain people with is also a lie? Did you know that those confection covered people are the ones that are more likely to hurt you the most? Well, if you did not know beforehand, now you do.
How much more can one take before their knees begin to buckle under the load that they are carrying around on the upper half of their body? It requires some amount of mental strength for a person to fight against the pain and continue to carry the load, but it requires everything in one mentally for a person to put that load down and walk away completely. That is who I want to be like one day...