Censorship Is The Enemy..

To a very close friend.

As I get older, I am finding that I hate to be censored. More or less told what it is that I can and cannot say. I find it even more annoying when it comes from people with loose lips of their own.

I do not like to exercise my thoughts freely if my thoughts are not sought, I've never been that way, but when thoughts are being shared then I might take that opportunity to share mine.

I am not one for complaints, at least not publicly anyway, but I simply do not like to be told what to do. I don't appreciate a person telling me what I can and cannot say, nor when I can and cannot say it. I am a writer and writing is a form of art which is a form of expression; therefore, I will express myself as I chose until that option is no longer available to me.

This post seemed a lot longer in my head. Hmmm....

Deja Who?

Deja vu...

Deja vu - the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time.

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it before but I have deja vu. Often. It used to creep me out when it would happen, but now it fascinates and excites me. I guess because I am of the belief that if you are having deja vu often, then you are on the path that you were meant to be on in life.

Every now again, there would be times when I would ask aloud, "Am I on the right path?" Mainly because I felt as if I had somehow detoured off of the path that I was meant to be on, more or less, the path that I imagined that I should've been on. I found myself constantly wondering if I had taken a wrong turn somewhere.

For a long time, I felt lost. Aimlessly wondering with no sense of direction but when I finally took the time to stop and actually focus on the path that I was on, IT happened. Random dreams that made absolutely no sense. Snippets of moments that stood out in those dreams. It seemed as if they were coming out of no where; tied to nothing, but yet the glue to everything. Constant occurrences. Steady reassurance.

And that's when it hit me!

I've been on the right path the entire time, I just refused to accept it. I didn't want to believe that all of the pot holes were a part of the path that I was meant to be on. I didn't want to accept that the cracked asphalt and withered scenery came along with the territory. It was that lack of belief and acceptance that left me ignorant to my own being. Out of touch with my true self.

Only when I began to take my blinders off did I notice that what I sought the entire time, was as it always had been: under my feet....

When A Goal Turns Into A Dream...

And a dream becomes reality...

I am more focused than ever on my current project. I have a series of children's books that I plan to start releasing around late February into early March and I've never been more excited in my life! Actually, I'm equal parts excited and nervous all at the same time but still.

I've come to the realization that I feel all emotionally conflicted because what I'm doing is going to be the "thing" that changes my life. The moment that defines the very reason why God has blessed me with the talent to write.

For a long time, I felt that I was missing something as a writer. Like, that's who I am but there was something else that I was supposed to be writing about besides what I have been. Generally, I write poetry based on my emotions but it didn't seem like it was enough. I never felt fulfilled as a writer. So, I began working on a novel and even though there's a lot of potential there, for some reason it's hard to finish. I think  that's because I wasn't meant to be a novelist; lengthy stories with straight thoughts, for some reason, seem hard to put together. I'm not going to give up though, I'm going to finish this story and release it; might be the only story I write, but at least I can say that I wrote it.

Anyway, at some point in October last year, I suddenly came up with the idea to write children's books and the idea just felt right. As a poet, I've always looked up to Maya Angelou and Dr. Seuss. In my poetry, I feel that I have done Maya well by pouring my heart and soul and truth into my work, but I don't think I've really exhibited why I adore Dr. Seuss. You can't truly appreciate a Dr. Seuss rhyme scheme in an emotionally based poem; his work always came off as light and fun, not weighted and serious.

When I began writing the poems for these books, I found that when you write for children, you pretty much have to keep it light and fun. You can't help but to keep it light and fun and because of that, I'm stepping way out of my comfort zone. Even though I'm having a lot of fun doing so, anyone that knows me, knows that I love my comfort zone. Comfort zones though, don't make things happen and because I'm of the mindset of making things happen, I guess my comfort zone and I will have to see one another later.

Where was I going with this again? Oh, yeah, I remember now.

I've never been more excited about a literary project as I am about these children's books. These are definitely going to be a game changer for me and I can't wait! I get butterflies in my tummy and I want to giggle uncontrollably when I think about their release; about how people will receive them. A strong part of me feels as though they're going to be well received, but only time will tell. Until then, I'm going to keep writing and working. I will continue to patiently wait because my ship is coming in; I know because I can feel it...