When cloudy skies are all they know?
In the recent years, I have found myself looking for ways to cleanse myself of any anger and pain that I may have been harboring. Any poisonous emotions that might have been continuously coursing through my veins. I have found that with each release, I feel freer. Lighter. Happier. Let me tell you, it has been quite a journey.
No one knows my story, nor will they understand it if they did. I don't care to invite people in on what I am doing or why, either. But those that have only had a surface glimpse of what it is that I have been doing have had a variety of things to say. The ones that are seemingly on the same path to self redemption that I am on seem to have a silent understanding of what it is that I am doing. They don't question, doubt, or put me down for what it is that I am doing because they understand the importance of closure. The ones that seem to still be lost within themselves and the unhappiness that surrounds them, have been the most vocal. The most negative. The most insulting.
I can't say what it is that goes on in any one person's mind, but I am coming to understand that when a person is happy with themselves and their decisions (most importantly, their life), they don't have the time or energy to bring another person down. Their life reflects how they feel inside and I am beginning to realize that there are people in my circle that are not feeling very well on the inside. I see in them what was once in me and it's a sad thing, I tell you. I can't go back to that and I can't surround myself with people like that because by doing so, I slowly feel the light that I fought so hard for on the inside starting to diminish.
Recently, I have been finding ways to distance myself from these seemingly poisonous personalities, because lets face it, when a person is unhappy, their whole being becomes toxic to those around them. The very thought of you being happy with yourself seems to be an insult to their unhappiness. I would imagine that seeing another person happy would ultimately encourage me to want to be happy as well, as it has, but that is not the case for some people. It is just a reminder that not everyone is as ready for that kind of change as I was.