So I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what it is that I am thankful for...
First and foremost, I am thankful for the many, MANY blessings that God has bestowed upon me and for the many blessings that God will continue to bestow upon me. But this is not what this entry is about.
This entry is about the fact that on numerous times God has picked me up when I was completely down and for that, I am grateful.
Many times this year, there were moments that felt like my mind was in its darkest hour. When nothing in my life made me happy and everything felt like a burden. Where dreams no longer existed and nightmares were ever present. When being alone made more sense to me than being surrounded by people. Where suddenly I had no clue as to who I was or what I was meant to be. When running away from my demons felt more like a solution than staying and confronting them. Where I tortured myself mentally on numerous occasions over the paths that I chose not to take. When being depressed was easier than being happy. Where my own mind had become my personal hell...
Through out ALL of that, God protected me.
I'm not going to say that I was an easy person to protect because I know that I wasn't. I didn't have the kind of faith in myself that God had in me and that left me open for the devil. I was weak and the devil preys upon that...
I had to strengthen my relationship with God and that allowed me to build strength within myself. I also had to accept that every battle within my life is not my battle to fight; that I needed to have faith in God to handle them. I also learned that any battle that I do fight, I'm not fighting them alone. In all actuality, I had a lot of learning to do and a lot soul searching to do. And it's not over yet...
Basically, I am thankful that no matter how broken I seemed to be, God never allowed me to break...
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