Much stronger than I've ever imagined myself to be.
I've come a long way in my personal development and I must say that not only am I extremely humbled by it all, but I'm very proud of how I have grown. I find it hard to imagine that not that long ago I felt like my entire universe was going to collapse within itself; I even patiently waited for it to do so actually. Now here I am feeling like I can't stop laughing or smiling. Doing things that I never saw myself ever doing. (A little chuckle escapes even now)
There are moments when I feel so creative that it hurts and sometimes those moments come at random, but at least they are coming. For so long, there weren't any moments at all. My mind stayed void of anything at all; no words, no phrases, no emotions, nothing. Even as I am typing this, I am grinning like a fool because I realize what I've been through and appreciate how happy I am. I am able to appreciate my happiness for what it is and I won't even analyze it like I do everything else.
I feel like everything happens for a reason. Whether we like it or not, our lives were meant to be on the path that we are currently taking. It's not a matter of what happens to you or how it happens, it's a matter of how we handle the situation and ourselves WHEN it happens. One can either take it like a champ and learn something from it or cower like a scared animal and learn nothing at all. Quite frankly, I like to think of myself as a champ.
Writing is my lover and for a long time, my lover and I didn't have anything in common. Neither had anything for the other; no words, no phrases, no emotion, nothing. Now we have reunited and I feel that Writing and I are stronger than ever before! I simply cannot wait for my mind to settle down long enough to articulate some of the thoughts that have been racing through my head, I know my pen is excited too! I'm ashamed, however, that I ever let anything come between us as everything has already done. Never again, nope, not ever...